It sounds pathetic, and I suppose that it was, but my self-image had been seriously damaged.A nurse, who I had never seen before, answered the door and let me in.“Are you here to see Susan?” she asked.When I answered in the affirmative, she introduced herself as Kim Blank, an R.N. who specialized in home-care. She led me to Lorie’s old room where I saw Susan sitting in a chair, reading. I was glad she was out of bed, but she still looked like she had gone three rounds with a heavy-weight boxer.“You’re looking better, I see,” I said, forcing a smile.She smiled, seemingly glad to see me, and said, “Where have you been? I had everyone I know looking for you.”I sat on the bed.“Have you?” I responded, flatly.“I see you’ve replaced me,” I added, pointing to the nurse.Susan shook her head.“No, she replaced Maria. I no longer need nighttime care. I’m able to get around pretty well now. The doctor said that I was very lucky. The steroids and anti-inflammatories kept my brain from swelling, so. And then how his belly, so big, round and plump, covers some of his thigh. 'how much you value your job?' i suddenly heard him say. 'i like very much. its good job. i dont have problem with noone', i tell him.'if its good job, why you come late today?''i overslept sir. i no mean for that to happen.'he gives me look. i dont know what to think. he look at me like he got magnifying glasses. i dont want him to know what i'm thinking. i dont want him to think i'm crazy.'you're almost finish with probation. this could mess up your chances. you need to finish strong if you want to secure your best shot at winning the final field goal.'i not watch much baseball so i'm not sure how to make field goal but i nod along then leave out. it was my lunchbreak by then so i headed straight to the office bathroom on the same floor using the general office key. i went into stall, closed the door and just sat there on the close seated toilet wondering why i didnt say a million things i could've said to.
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